Remembering Ivy Read online

  I stopped where William had been standing. It was the religion section. That was interesting. It was impossible to tell what religion he might have been looking at. He’d picked up books from all over the shelves, and there were numerous religions represented. I looked closer. Most of the titles seemed to be historical, or books about various religions, rather than spiritual books or religious texts such as Bibles.

  I couldn’t tell what book he’d bought. I hadn’t been able to see him well enough.

  Deciding I ought to buy a book as cover, I grabbed one at random on my way up to the front counter.

  “This all for you?” the bookstore guy asked. He scanned the book and his brow furrowed as he looked at the cover.

  “Yeah.” My face flushed hot as I realized I was buying a book titled How to Please Your Woman in Ten Easy Steps. “Um, it’s a gift for someone.”

  “Mm hmm,” he said.

  I handed over my credit card without really hearing what it cost. God, this was embarrassing. Couldn’t I have grabbed something a little less ridiculous?

  He gave me my credit card and receipt.

  I took a deep breath. I’d humiliated myself this much, I might as well make it complete. “Would you mind telling me what the man who just left bought?”

  His eyebrows drew together again, and he crossed his arms. “Why?”

  “Oh, I…” That’s a very good question. Why should he tell you? “I was just wondering.”

  “I don’t remember the title.”

  I could tell by his tone and the way he glared at me that he remembered exactly what it was, but he was certainly not going to tell me. I gave a little nod before grabbing my book and hurrying out of the store.

  “Well, Ivy, you have officially lost your mind.”

  I went up the stairs to street level and didn’t see any sign of William. Which was just as well. I didn’t know what I’d been thinking. What a ridiculous thing to do. Being stuck with a copy of How to Please Your Woman in Ten Easy Steps served me right.

  Hoping I wouldn’t accidentally bump into William on the way, I walked back to my car. I wondered where he’d gone. Home? Or did he have more stops to make? Far from helping me solve the puzzle that was William Cole, my little morning excursion had only made him more of an enigma.

  When I got to my car, I checked my messages. I wasn’t surprised to have a voicemail and a text from Jessica, asking if everything was all right. I sent her a quick message, saying I had something to take care of downtown. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but I cringed a little nonetheless. But what else could I say? Hey Jess, I decided to stalk the guy who’s been stalking me. Heading back now. TTYL.

  I’d see her tonight, but it would be on a double date. With Blake.

  “That’s right, Ivy,” I said to myself in the rear-view mirror. “Blake, the perfectly normal man who you’ve been out with enough times that after tonight, you’ll have to admit you’re dating.”

  I didn’t particularly like the way that sounded. But another date was fair. And I didn’t want to cancel when Jessica had been so excited.

  I still found myself imagining William picking me up tonight. That gave me a little flutter in my tummy. I turned on the car, but paused and looked up at his building, wondering when I’d see him again.

  Double Date

  My favorite thing about art galleries was always the lighting. I did enjoy looking at the art, and attending exhibitions with Jessica had increased my appreciation for it. But there was something about the lighting. Soft, casting subtle shadows. Illuminating the pieces to show off their best features. It created a mood, like music does for a movie. Without the right lighting, an art gallery was just a room with paintings.

  Blake had suggested the gallery exhibition when I’d mentioned Jessica’s idea to go on a double date. He knew the gallery owners, and had offered to get us tickets to the event. It had definitely earned him a few extra Jessica-points. She’d still subjected him to the third degree during dinner. He’d taken it in stride. Her patented eyebrow arch hadn’t done anything to shake his confident demeanor.

  It was me who was uncomfortable.

  From the moment Blake had picked me up at my house, I’d sensed something was different. On our first few dates, he’d been friendly and courteous. Tonight, he was bordering on aggressive.

  Nothing he’d done so far had been inappropriate, really. A lot of touching. A hand on my back or my arm. He’d moved my hair over my shoulder once or twice. And there was an intensity in his eyes. It all said that he was ready to take this to the next level. That tonight, he didn’t expect the date to end at the art gallery.

  If it had been another man, I might have found it all very arousing. Jessica had clearly noticed and gave me knowing smiles from across the table. But I wasn’t getting pleasant tingles of anticipation. It was making me jumpy and nervous.

  And I couldn’t stop thinking about William.

  I wondered if he knew where I was tonight. What book he’d bought earlier. What he did other days of the week. Did he always bring the homeless man a sandwich on Fridays? And what did he do for a living? His apartment was in a nice building, so it couldn’t be cheap.

  Blake’s gentle hand on my elbow steered me to the next painting and I blinked, coming back to reality. Jessica and Peter had wandered off together, but I could see them across the gallery. I took small sips of champagne from a fluted glass as we moved, taking our time to admire each piece. Soft classical music played in the background and people spoke in low voices, like in a library. It was all very smart and sophisticated, and I felt guilty for not paying better attention to my surroundings.

  “What do you think of this one?” Blake gestured with his champagne glass toward a painting of a cliff with ocean waves breaking against it.

  “It’s beautiful.” I took a quick sip of champagne and tried to think of something else to say. Something that would bring my mind to the present. To my date. “There’s such a sense of movement in the water.”

  “Powerful. It’s almost violent, don’t you think?” His fingers lingered on my elbow, giving me a light caress.

  I thought about pulling away, but he dropped his hand. “Yes. Very powerful.”

  “Callahan.”

  We both turned at the voice behind us. A man in a dark suit stood with a glass of red wine perched in his hand. He was attractive and businesslike, with a smooth jaw and hair that looked like he’d just had it cut.

  He looked a lot like Blake.

  “Darrington,” Blake said, shaking his hand. “Ivy, this is Samuel Darrington. He used to be one of my colleagues at Dorset, until he got too full of himself and went elsewhere.”

  I offered my hand and he took it. For a second, I thought he might bring it to his lips, but his eyes flicked to Blake and he simply shook it gently.

  “Ivy Nichols,” I said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “The pleasure is all mine,” Samuel said.

  Blake cleared his throat. “Dr. Ivy Nichols. She’s being modest.”

  “Oh?” Samuel asked.

  “I’m a literature professor,” I said. “I teach at Woodward College.”

  “Impressive,” Samuel said, but I wasn’t sure if he meant he was impressed with me, or impressed that Blake was with me. He turned to Blake. “So are you in for next week?”

  “Now isn’t the time,” Blake said.

  Samuel took a sip of his wine. “Just wondering if you want to keep playing with the big boys.”

  Blake’s eyes narrowed and there was an edge to his voice. “I’ll be there.”

  “Good,” Samuel said. His tone was relaxed, but there was a tightness around his eyes that didn’t match his casual response. “Did you get my invitation?”

  “I did,” Blake said.

  “And you’ll come?” he asked, then looked at me again. “I’m throwing a little housewarming party in my new place. You should see the view. It’s incredible.”

  “I’m sure it is,” Blake said before I cou
ld respond. “We’ll be there.”

  “Great.” Samuel leaned closer to Blake and said something in a low voice. Blake’s face was a hard mask. Samuel stepped back and both men’s expressions smoothed over, like the interaction hadn’t happened. Samuel took my hand, and this time he did place a light kiss on the backs of my fingers. “Ivy, it was an absolute pleasure. You two enjoy your evening.”

  Samuel walked away, and I got the sense there was some sort of rivalry between them. I didn’t like feeling as if I were a piece on a game board that Samuel had just attempted to steal. And why had Blake said we would be at this housewarming party? We weren’t a couple who automatically did things together.

  “Keep playing with the big boys?” I asked. “What was that about?”

  Blake ran a hand down my arm. “Sorry about that. He was talking about our monthly poker night; he takes it way too seriously. Samuel is… interesting. But he’s harmless.”

  I didn’t believe that for one second. Samuel seemed about as harmless as a hungry shark. “Why did you tell him we’d be at his housewarming party?”

  “Well, if we’re both free, it would be good to make an appearance,” he said. “We won’t have to stay long.”

  That wasn’t the answer I was looking for. Everything about this evening was making me uncomfortable. I set my champagne glass down on a little table. “Excuse me for a moment. I need to go to the ladies’ room.”

  Blake licked his lips and looked at me like I was on his own personal dessert menu. “Sure. Hurry back.”

  My stomach felt uneasy as I walked away. I found Jessica and hooked my arm with hers.

  “Restroom?”

  She startled a little but nodded. “Okay. Peter, I’ll be right back.”

  The restroom was single occupant, but I dragged her inside with me anyway.

  “What’s going on?” she asked once I’d closed and locked the door.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “Blake just had a strange conversation with someone he knows. Then he said we’d be at some housewarming party without even asking me. And he’s looking at me like…”

  “Like he’s thinking about taking that little black dress off your cute little body?” Jessica asked.

  “Yes, exactly.”

  Jessica sighed. “And what’s wrong with that? Don’t you want the man you’re dating to look at you like he wants you?”

  “I’m not dating Blake,” I said. “That’s not what this is. This is just…”

  “Just what?” Jessica asked.

  “Just a date,” I said. “There’s a difference.”

  “Okay,” Jessica said. “Does he realize that?”

  I crossed my arms. “I don’t know, and that’s the problem. I’m not sure if I like where this is going.”

  “What do you need, honey?” she asked. “You want me to sneak you out? I can have Peter distract him.”

  “No,” I said. “I’ll handle it. I just want you to tell me I’m not crazy.”

  “You’re not crazy,” she said. “But are you sure you’re not balking because he obviously likes you, and you’re scared of what that means?”

  I sighed out a long breath. It was a fair question. “Maybe? I don’t know.”

  “What’s going on with you?” she asked. “You’ve been distracted all night.”

  “You’re right, I have been,” I said. “I just have some other things on my mind.”

  “Well, if you’re distracted, maybe that’s why the date feels a little off to you.” She gave me her signature maternal smile. “He’s not Julian. It’s okay to let someone get close to you again. Not every guy is going to bail at the first sign of trouble.”

  “I know.”

  “Blake obviously likes you,” she said. “If you’re not ready for things to heat up, just tell him. But don’t make this about Julian, or your dad, or anything else.”

  I took a deep breath. Talking to Jess was calming me down. Yes, his conversation with Samuel had been a little odd, but maybe the undercurrent of antagonism I sensed was just typical male banter. And maybe Blake had accepted the invitation for both of us because he expected we were going to keep seeing each other. After all, he didn’t know I was having doubts.

  “I’m sorry, I just got a funny feeling and kind of panicked.”

  “You’re doing fine,” she said. “But if you’re really uncomfortable, Peter and I can take you home.”

  “No, I think I’m okay.”

  “Then get out of here or I’m going to pee in front of you,” she said.

  I laughed and went back out to find Blake.

  Goodnight, Ivy

  The rest of the date went smoothly, but the pings of anxiety returned on the drive home. I knew exactly what was coming, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. He was going to kiss me goodnight, and ask if he could come in. The latter was a definite no. I’d already decided that. I felt far too conflicted to sleep with him. But a goodnight kiss? Would that be so terrible?

  I sat in the passenger seat of his car, calm and collected on the outside. On the inside, I was a mess. Distracted and confused. I shouldn’t have followed William today. All the unanswered questions rolling through my mind were making it hard to sort out how I felt about Blake. William’s constant presence in my thoughts was like a recurring interruption.

  We got to my house and parked. Blake walked me up to my front door, his hand on the small of my back. We stopped, facing each other. His eyebrow lifted, just a centimeter, and the corner of his mouth hooked. He stepped closer and placed his hand on my waist. Leaned down and—

  “Ivy.”

  Startled by the voice, I moved back. William was walking up the path toward my door. His hands were in his pockets—his posture completely non-threatening—but I had the strangest feeling that if Blake so much as flinched in my direction, William would lay him out with one punch.

  “William?” I glanced between the two men. Blake’s eyebrows were drawn in as he watched William approach. God, how was I going to explain this?

  “Ivy, I, um…” Apparently William didn’t know what to say, either.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “I’m sorry, who’s this?” Blake asked.

  Well, William was kind of stalking me. And then I decided to stalk him back earlier today. You know, no big deal.

  “Oh, this is William. He’s…” I fumbled. “He’s my neighbor. Was Edgar barking again? I’m really sorry about that.”

  William blinked at me.

  Please go along with it.

  “Yeah, he…” William paused. “It’s okay.”

  “Thanks for letting me know.” I widened my eyes and gave William a tiny nod, gesturing for him to leave, then turned to Blake. “I do need to take Edgar outside. He can’t wait as long as he used to.”

  Right on cue, Edgar barked.

  “See?” I said with a little shrug.

  William was heading toward the street, half turned so he could still watch me and Blake. But at least he was leaving.

  “No problem,” Blake said, his expression smoothing over as if the interruption hadn’t occurred. Before I could think about what was happening, he leaned in and placed his lips against mine.

  I didn’t close my eyes—not all the way. And I didn’t quite kiss him back—not really. I almost looked to the side to see if William was watching. But I didn’t have to. I knew he was. And I knew I felt bad about it.

  Blake’s kiss had an edge of assertiveness that told me if I gave him any encouragement, I’d have a tongue in my mouth in half a second. I gently pulled away, keeping it lips-only.

  “I had a nice time,” I said. “Thanks again.”

  “I did too.” Blake tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and ran his finger down my cheek.

  I could see the unspoken question in his eyes. Could he come in?

  “Goodnight, Blake.” I kept my voice firm and stepped back to put space between us.

  A flash of frustration—maybe even anger—crossed
his features. It was gone almost before I noticed, but I’d seen it. He was not happy with how this date was ending. The question was, would he take no for an answer?

  I took out my keys and unlocked the door, watching Blake from the corner of my eye. He seemed on the verge of stepping into my personal space again. My back tightened, and I held my breath.

  “Goodnight, Ivy,” he said. “I’ll call you.”

  The air whooshed from my lungs as I opened the door. Blake walked back to his car as I slipped inside and shut the it behind me.

  Edgar was waiting, his body tense, his ears perked up.

  “Hey, buddy,” I said. My stomach felt a little sick. He licked my fingers and I scratched behind his ears. “Do you need to go outside?”

  He hesitated, his focus still on the front door. For a second, I wondered if Blake had come back—or maybe William had. But the flash of headlights through the front window and the noise of Blake’s engine told me he was leaving. Once the sound of his car faded down the street, Edgar relaxed and headed toward the back door.

  I put my purse and keys down and took him out back. The porch light winked on and Edgar went to his spot to do his business.

  Although Edgar wasn’t acting like a stranger was around, I had a feeling William hadn’t gone far. “Are you out here somewhere?”

  A slight pause, then William’s voice came from the other side of the fence. “Yes.”

  I shook my head. This was getting out of control. I went to the side gate and opened it.

  William appeared from around the corner of the fence. His hands were still in his pockets, and at least he had the grace to look guilty.

  “What was that about?” I asked.

  “I’m not your neighbor,” he said.

  “I realize you’re not my neighbor, but I had to tell him something. Would you have preferred I introduce you as my stalker?”

  “No.”

  Edgar came up and sniffed William’s pants. William absently took his hand out of his pocket and scratched Edgar’s head.

  “How do you do that?” I asked.