Gaining Miles: A Miles Family Novella (The Miles Family Book 5) Read online

  I sat back in my chair, one foot crossed over my knee, bottle of beer in my hand. I had a feeling my solitude wouldn’t last. One of the boys was bound to catch a whiff of the fire, or see the sparks rise, their orange and red lights winking in the darkness. I’d brought a six-pack, expecting company.

  Then again, any or all of them might be otherwise occupied tonight. It wasn’t like there was a horde of bachelors roaming Salishan’s acres these days. One by one, all my kids had found love and settled down.

  Of course, technically they weren’t my kids. I hadn’t fathered them. And I’d never spoken of them that way out loud. But I’d stopped beating myself up for thinking of them as mine years ago. I wasn’t their father, but they were mine just the same. I’d been a part of their lives—watching out for them—since they were little. Since that day, so many years ago, when I’d chased a naked two-year-old Cooper through the vineyard and brought him back to his mother.

  Shannon.

  Her name drifted through my mind like a cool breeze. Soothing. Beautiful. Shannon Miles, the woman I’d loved from afar for longer than was strictly healthy.

  She’d been through hell the last couple of years. As happy as I’d been to see her husband go, I’d hated the pain it had brought her. He’d been unfaithful off and on throughout most of their marriage. I hadn’t known. Oh, I’d suspected. Strongly. But I’d told myself over and over that it was none of my business. I had no place getting in between a married man and woman.

  That was one of my life’s biggest regrets. If I’d trusted my gut and exposed Lawrence years ago, maybe I could have saved her, and those kids, a hell of a lot of pain.

  But then again, it was hard to say how that would have turned out. Maybe she wouldn’t have believed me. Maybe she wouldn’t have been ready to hear the truth. Maybe the crushing responsibility of being a single mother to four young kids while trying to keep her family’s winery afloat would have made her even more miserable than her husband had.

  I doubted it, but it gave me some comfort to think I hadn’t ruined her life by keeping out of it.

  Shannon had been the name my heart had whispered for a long time. I hadn’t always loved her. The first time we spoke, that day on the edge of the vineyard when Cooper had run off, hadn’t been the moment I’d fallen for her. I’d noticed her, and maybe deep down, a part of me had known I’d love her one day. But back then, she was a married young mother, as unavailable as a person could get.

  No, I fell for her kids first. They were they reason I’d stayed. Back in those days, I’d been little more than a drifter. No permanent home, no ties to anything. I’d wanted it that way, thinking I could outrun the pain of my past. The Miles kids had given me a reason to plant roots. I’d stayed here for them, and I’d never regretted it.

  However, watching Shannon live a life with another man—especially a piece of shit like Lawrence Miles—had been a special kind of torture.

  But now, Lawrence was gone. It had been a long, hard road for Shannon. His selfishness had come back to haunt not only her, but her entire family. Fortunately, justice had prevailed, and their ordeal was over.

  And today, I’d decided it was time.

  I heard the boys—Cooper and Chase, if I wasn’t mistaken—coming down the path to the clearing. Probably giving each other shit, by their tones and the laughter that followed. Chase was one of mine in much the same way the Miles kids always had been. He and Cooper had been best friends since they were five. In our own ways—separately, of course—Shannon and I had adopted Chase as one of ours. Now that he was married to Brynn, he was a Miles in everything but name. Although really, he always had been.

  “Ben, dude, what’s going on out here?” Cooper asked, dragging a chair over. He didn’t sit down. “Having a party without us? What’s up with that? I know we’ve been busy or whatever, but still. Have some manners, man. Give a guy a heads up.”

  “Coop.” Chase tried to get Cooper’s attention.

  “I guess the beer makes up for it, though. Beer me, good buddy.”

  I opened a beer and handed it to Cooper. Chase looked at the fire, then at me, then back at the fire.

  “Um, Coop?”

  Cooper dropped into the chair and took a long swig. “I can’t stay too long. Cookie’s at the ranch late tonight. She’s been there all day, and I miss the fuck out of her. So fair warning, as soon as she texts me that she’s on her way home, I’m bailing on you guys. Sorry if that violates bro code.”

  “Cooper,” Chase said, his voice sharp.

  “What? Get a chair and grab a beer, bro. What’s wrong with you?”

  “Look.” He pointed at the fire.

  Cooper’s head swiveled toward the fire and his eyes widened. He looked at me, the flames dancing in his eyes. “Dude.”

  I waited. Cooper was about to unload a verbal assault and it was always better to let him do it, then speak afterward. But he stayed quiet.

  Had I actually rendered Cooper Miles speechless?

  A big smile crossed Chase’s face. “Fuck yes. Fuck. Yes.”

  “Fuck yes, indeed, boys,” I said and took a drink.

  “Took you long enough,” Cooper said.

  “Don’t start with me, Coop,” I said.

  He put up his hands, as if in surrender. “I know, I know. Your clocks need to be in sync. I get it. You were right about me and Amelia. But what changed?”

  I took another drink, pondering my answer. “Well, her divorce is final, although it’s more than that. Things were hard for a while, but they’ve settled down. And like you said, our clocks need to be in sync.”

  “And they are now?” Cooper asked.

  “I hope so. And if they aren’t, maybe I’m ready to give hers a nudge in the right direction.”

  Cooper grinned at me. “This is awesome. Do you know how awesome this is? There are definitely parts of this that I don’t need to know, or talk about, because it’s my mom. But I’m really fucking happy for you.”

  “Don’t get ahead of yourself,” I said. “I’m not out here burning this thing because I put a ring on her finger.”

  “Holy shit, Ben,” Chase said. “Are you going to propose?”

  “You know what this means, right?” Cooper asked, the firelight reflecting in his wide eyes. “If you marry my mom, you’ll be my stepdad.”

  “And my father-in-law,” Chase said.

  “Slow down, boys. I haven’t even asked her out on a date yet. All this,” I said, gesturing to the fire, “is just symbolic.”

  “Yeah, we get it,” Chase said. “But I still think you should marry her.”

  “Chase, I love how pro-marriage you are,” Cooper said. “And I agree, he should definitely marry my mom.”

  “Hell yes, I’m pro-marriage,” Chase said. “Speaking of, what gives? Are you going to lock shit down with Amelia or what?”

  Cooper crossed an ankle over his knee. “Our love is solid. I don’t need to lock it down to know she’s mine forever. Don’t get me wrong, I’m marrying the shit out of that girl—when she’s ready.”

  Chase nodded. “I can respect that.”

  “So where are you taking her?” Cooper asked, looking at me. “On your first date, I mean. You better make it good, dude. This is a long time coming, and my mom hasn’t been on a date in a long-ass time.”

  “I thought I’d take her to dinner, but now you’re making me wonder if that’s good enough.”

  “Dinner’s good,” Cooper said. “But be sure she knows it’s a date, not a friend thing.”

  “Yeah, you’ve been in the friend-zone forever,” Chase said. “It could be tough to climb out.”

  “That’s a good point,” Cooper said. “I’m glad we noticed you out here tonight because you’re definitely going to need our help.”

  “Cooper Miles, I do not need dating help from you,” I said, although Chase’s friend-zone comment had gotten under my skin a little.

  “Why not?” Cooper asked. “I’m awesome at this stuff.”

/>   I raised an eyebrow and took a drink.

  “You are awesome at it, Coop, but I gotta be honest,” Chase said. “I think Ben has this covered. Look at him.”

  Cooper eyed me for a few seconds. “He is handsome as hell. He’s been rocking the beard since before beards were cool. And the gray just makes him look distinguished.”

  “Exactly,” Chase said. “The dude’s a panty-melter even without our help.”

  “I agree with you, but can we not talk about panties when the panties being melted in this case belong to my mom?” Cooper asked.

  “Good point,” Chase said.

  Shaking my head, I laughed. These two. I loved these boys. Life wouldn’t have been the same without them. But I didn’t need their advice when it came to dating.

  This didn’t need to be complicated. I was going to approach Shannon and ask her out on a date, like a man should. Take her out. Treat her right. There was still that bit of doubt in my mind—concern that maybe Chase was right. Maybe I was just a friend. And maybe that was all I’d ever be to her.

  But what I felt for her was too big to ignore. Too much to contain. I’d watched Shannon from afar for so long. Now there was nothing keeping us apart. I was going to take the chance. Put my heart on the line. I’d give it to her if she wanted it. Give it all to her and never ask for it back. I wasn’t sure if Cooper and Chase had been joking when they said I should marry her. But that was absolutely what I wanted. Only one question remained. Would she have me?

  Soon, I’d find out.

  Three

  Shannon

  Hudson was fast asleep in my lap, soothed by the motion of the rocking chair. My arms were tired from holding him, but I wasn’t about to get up. There was nothing like holding a sleeping baby, and I was positively smitten with this little guy. He was eight months old now, and threatening to crawl. Roland and Zoe’s life was about to get a lot more interesting when he got mobile.

  They’d gone out for a date night. I loved that they lived close for many reasons—seeing my grandson included. But even more than that, I loved that I could give them time together. Their commitment to each other—and their marriage—as they navigated the transition into parenthood was heartwarming to see.

  I heard the front door open and close. A few seconds later, footsteps ascending the stairs. It sounded like Roland.

  My son peeked through Hudson’s half-open door and smiled. He was thirty-three years old with a wife and child, and I still looked at him and wondered how he’d gotten so tall. He favored his father—only much more handsome—with dark hair, blue eyes, and that neatly trimmed stubble so many men were wearing these days. It suited him.

  As did fatherhood.

  “Hey, Mom,” he said, his voice soft. “Sorry to keep you here so long.”

  “It’s fine.” I glanced down at Hudson. His eyelashes brushed his round cheeks and his lips moved in his sleep. “He’s been asleep for about an hour.”

  “Thanks.” He gently lifted Hudson out of my lap and cradled him in his arms, swaying a little. “I’ll get him down for the night.”

  I loved seeing Roland as a father. The love and care in his eyes when he gazed at his son filled my heart. I left him to it, quietly slipping out the door as he snuggled his baby boy.

  Zoe was downstairs. She smiled and hugged me when I came into the kitchen. “Thanks again for watching him.”

  “Did you have a nice date?”

  “We did,” she said. “Dinner was delicious. And no one needed to be burped. It’s so nice to feel like a woman, not just a mom. Even if it’s only for a few hours.”

  “It’s good for you.”

  “Thanks.” She smiled again and gave me another hug.

  With their baby asleep, I knew they probably wanted more privacy, so I said my goodbyes. Roland came downstairs just as I was leaving, so I got a hug from my son, too. I left them in their cozy house, their sweet baby asleep upstairs.

  And it made me happy.

  They lived a short drive from Salishan. All my kids were close, which was a dream come true. Now that my divorce was final, Chase and Brynn could start on the house they had planned—right on Salishan land. Cooper would do the same, although he and Amelia seemed happy to live in one of the guest cottages for the time being.

  Leo and Hannah were still contemplating their living situation. With a baby on the way, eventually they’d need more space than they had now. Like I’d done for my other kids, I was going to offer them a parcel of the land to build on. I had a feeling they’d take me up on it.

  I parked in front of my house and went inside. Took off my coat and put down my purse. I’d skipped dinner, so my first order of business for the evening was finding something to eat.

  My kitchen was spacious, with cupboard doors worn from years of use, gray counter tops, and a small kitchen table next to the window. I still had my mother’s collection of tea cups and more wine glasses than I knew what to do with.

  I opened the fridge and was surprised to find a container of leftover chicken. For a woman who lived alone, my leftovers disappeared remarkably fast. But my boys still stopped by, sniffing around the kitchen for lunch or a snack. They knew I cooked more than I needed and was happy to share.

  The truth was, I did it on purpose. I cooked so much because I liked giving them an excuse to come over. Cooper and Chase were regulars in my kitchen, even now that neither of them was a bachelor. Leo too. Before Hannah, I’d often tried to tempt him out of hiding with the promise of leftovers or a big batch of homemade muffins. Now that he had Hannah in his life, I didn’t feel like it was necessary to try to coax him out of his house.

  But I still cooked a lot.

  I warmed up the chicken, poured a glass of wine, and took it to my kitchen table. I preferred eating in here when I was alone. My dining table was big—it could easily seat twelve, more if we squished—and when I sat there by myself it felt immense. And very empty.

  A quiet house was a nice change after an evening watching my grandson. I loved spending time with him, but my days raising little boys were long over. Being a grandma was perfect—I got lots of baby snuggles, without the hard work that went into parenting. Even on days when I watched him, I got to come home to my regular life. A life where my children were adults.

  Not just adults—settled adults. Roland, once again married to Zoe, raising their first child. My baby girl, Brynn, married to Chase—who’d been like a son to me since he was five. Leo and Hannah would be getting married soon, and my second grandchild was on the way. And Cooper. That whirlwind of chaos and energy that was my youngest son had actually met his match in Amelia.

  All four of my children were in love and happy. And after the example they’d grown up with, that seemed like a miracle.

  Thirty-five years ago, when I’d married Lawrence Miles, I couldn’t have imagined my life would turn out the way it had. I’d been young and hopeful, swept off my feet by a man with ambition. In Lawrence, I’d seen stability. Someone who would support my passion for my family’s business and provide for the family I’d always known I wanted.

  What I’d gotten was a man who’d quickly become cold and distant, not long after our wedding. Who’d been unfaithful to me. Fathered children with another woman and kept that family a secret from all of us. Who’d almost run my family’s winery into the ground with his selfishness and bad management, and then tried to take it from me in the divorce. Who would now spend the next twenty years in prison for drug trafficking.

  It was hard to imagine choosing a worse partner than Lawrence.

  My four children were the only reason I didn’t regret marrying him with every fiber of my being. If I hadn’t married Lawrence, I wouldn’t have them.

  They were worth it.

  I cleaned up the few dishes I’d used and poured myself another glass of wine. Wandered into my quiet living room and sat on the corner of the couch. My kids had redecorated for me after I’d kicked out my ex. The colors were new, furniture moved, new photos
on the walls. It felt more like my home again, after years of sharing it with him.

  This place was filled with memories—both good and bad. I’d raised my children here. Cared for my parents here as their health declined. Lived a life here.

  And now I lived here alone.

  I put my wine glass down on the coffee table next to the latest mystery novel I’d been reading. Ben had brought it to me a few days ago. He’d started loaning me books recently. I’d mentioned in passing that I’d been looking for something to read, and the next day he’d stopped by with a book. I didn’t usually read mysteries, but had decided to give it a try.

  It had been riveting. I’d been glued to the page until the very end. After that, he’d suggested more books, and often brought new ones for me to borrow.

  This one had a well-worn cover and dog-eared pages. I picked it up and traced my fingertip across the cover. Benjamin. I wondered what he was doing tonight. Was he sitting in his cabin up on the slope of the mountain, reading another book he’d bring me in a few days? Sipping a beer or a glass of whiskey? Or maybe a glass of wine—wine that I’d made?

  Maybe I should call him. He lived alone, too. Was he lonely tonight?

  Ben had been here at Salishan for over twenty-five years. I didn’t know why he’d come, or much about where he’d been before. That wasn’t something he’d ever shared with me. But I remembered the first time I’d met him, clear as day. I’d lost Cooper—not for the first time, or the last. Ben had found him in the vineyard and brought him to me.

  I hadn’t known that day that Benjamin Gaines would one day be my oldest friend. Then, he’d just been a vineyard worker. One of many. But over the years, his role here had changed. He’d become the head groundskeeper and handyman. He built things, fixed things, planted gardens.

  And now?

  I sighed, thumbing through the pages. Now, he was a quiet presence in my life. The friend I knew I could always rely on. A man who cared deeply for my children. Who loved this land as much as I did.

  But also a man who’d seen the worst moments of my life. Who knew the details of my past—the choices I’d made. He’d watched me stay married to Lawrence. Watched me try to hold my marriage together long after I should have let go. He’d been here through it all. The affairs. The ugly divorce.